I throughly enjoyed this piece, especially the ending. I've always found happy ending boring, for there is no wonder of what the characters did after the sad or tragic ending, which in this case, would be oblivious. The mistakes in grammar were subtle, such as "But Monday rolls around, and it turns out I'm perfectly happy kicking my soccer ball around town, enjoying the silence and the approaching breezes. So I do"
You see, "So I do" would be a fragment sentence, and so I feel it could be written more properly like this "But Monday rolls around, and it turns out I'm perfectly happy kicking my soccer ball around town, enjoying the silence and the approaching breezes, so I do"
As you can see, very easy to fix. for all I know, you could have just pressed the wrong button, which is why I point it out, for you may not even know it's there.
I noticed you used the "-" symbol when it was not in a compound word, and I am unaware of a rule against it's use, but I still advise against it unless the character is stuttering. I find it makes me think a school girl writing a note to someone, and wanting the other to be aware of the oblivious sarcasm they are using, such as 'Yes- Of course I want to kill you'. I use this symbol in rough drafts for sheet music, which is most likely why I take the "-" sign as a long note instead of more of a staccato.
You may also not have noticed this, but there are alignment symbols which are shown, such as "But when I got home, the social worker is there. She has brought a man like a brick wall with her, and I have to go to school &#150."
You can see what's wrong here, no?
I have no complaints though, for as I said earlier, I loved the story. Why however, did the father cut out her stomach? Why not simply stab her? Will we ever know? (these are the questions I spoke of earlier.)